The Tale of Prince Tim of the Kingdom of CPE
Once upon a time in a little kingdom by the sea there was a handsome Prince named Tim. He didn’t know that he was handsome though, because there were no mirrors in the kingdom, and the sea was the greenish kind that doesn’t reflect anything.
As he grew older, Prince Tim learned from his elders that there were monsters abroad in the land. This scared Prince Tim and he asked his allegedly wise mentors what to do.
One said to hide. Another said to pretend that the monsters didn’t exist. The third handed him a ball and a book, and told him to go find out about the monsters for himself.
Prince Tim decided to hide first. He found a secluded room inside the castle where no one ever went, entered and locked the door. Servants came to feed him and take care of him, and from time to time they’d share news of the outside world.
“Monsters are ravaging the countryside,” they told Prince Tim. Sooner or later they’ll attack the castle too. You should find out how to fight them, Prince Tim.” But Prince Tim decided that hiding was working pretty well and he didn’t need to do that.
Many years passed but then one evening the whole castle shook with the sound of tremendous roars. Prince Tim called out for his servants, but none came for quite some time. Finally, one did come who looked remarkably calm in the face of all that roaring.
“What’s that loud roaring?” Prince Tim asked, trembling.
“Monsters,” the servant said. “They’ve come to the castle.”
“Call my mentors!” Prince Tim screamed.
“They’re all dead, sire,” his servant said. “You’ll have to figure this all out by yourself now.”
Prince Tim blanched. Suddenly hiding wasn’t working all that well any more.
“What should I do?” Prince Tim cried.
“What did your mentors tell you?” his servant asked.
“One said ‘hide,’ but that isn’t working. Another said ‘pretend they don’t exist’ and the third just gave me a bunch of junk and told me to go deal with the monsters myself.”
“Try something different,” Prince Tim’s servant suggested. “Obviously hiding wasn’t the right thing to do.”
“OK,” said Prince Tim, “I’ll come out of here and just pretend the monsters don’t exist.”
And that’s what he did, as soon as morning came and the roaring stopped. It worked just fine until evening. Then the roaring came again, and now that he was out of the secluded room it sounded even louder.
“It’s hard to pretend that doesn’t exist,” Prince Tim said to his servant, who readily agreed. “What do the monsters want, anyway?”
“They’re probably hungry,” the servant said.
“Hungry?” Prince Tim gulped, half knowing the answer to the question he was about to ask. “Well, why don’t we just feed them? Go ask them what they want.”
The servant went off and came back shortly.
“Well, what do they want?” Prince Tim asked.
”They want you,” his servant answered. Prince Tim had been right – the monsters wanted him and they weren’t going to stop until they had him.
“Looks like I’m out of options,” Prince Tim said sadly.
“You still have the ball and the book, sire,” his servant reminded him.
“They don’t want those things,” Prince Tim said. “They want me.”
“Take them anyway,” his servant suggested, so Prince Tim gathered them up and went off in the direction of the roaring. “May as well get this all over with,” he muttered to himself.
“Let me come with you,” his servant said, calling after him. Prince Tim shrugged his shoulders and nodded without turning around.
As they approached the roaring outside the castle walls a thick darkness enveloped them and the air began to stink with the smell of things both newly deceased and long dead. Prince Tim commanded that the castle gates be opened, but the gatekeepers were frozen with fear.
“Guess I’ll have to do this myself,” Prince Tim said. “How do these things work, anyway?”
“Take a look in the book,” his servant suggested.
Prince Tim had never opened the book and had no idea what might be in it. Given the situation though, he decided there was nothing to lose, so he opened the book. It turned out to be a book of instructions. He looked up “Castle Gates” and there sure enough were instructions about how to open the gates.
“How much time have I got?” Prince Tim asked his servant.
“The rest of your life, Prince Tim,” the servant replied. “Maybe a minute, maybe a decade. But you have to deal with those monsters. If they get in here, it’s all over.”
Prince Tim took that under advisement and looked at the table of contents. This was some book! There were instructions in there for all sorts of things, some of which Prince Tim had never even heard. Look! There was even a section about how to deal with monsters. Prince Tim read that chapter with exceptionally intense interest.
As it turned out, he did have enough time and was able to open the gates and confront the monsters. Having read the book, he knew exactly what to do.
“AHA, Prince Tim!!,” the monsters said as Prince Tim advanced towards them, each salivating and wearing its own ugly grin. “We’ve come here to destroy you!!!”
Prince Tim replied with supreme confidence, “That’s interesting, I just came to play ball.” And he tossed the ball into the middle of the monsters.
The monsters were dumbstruck. Where did Prince Tim learn that little trick, they wondered? One of them regained his senses and charged at Prince Tim with a large shiny item in his claws. He planted it right in front of Prince Tim and screamed triumphantly “There!! Now you’re done for!!!”
“Jesus Christ!” Prince Tim said. “What’s that!”
His servant who, as it turned out just happened to be named Jesus Christ, answered. “That’s a mirror, Prince Tim.”
“A mirror?”
“Yes, Prince Tim, a mirror.”
“What’s it do?”
“It shows your reflection. You see yourself in it, just exactly the way you are. The monster knew there were no mirrors in the kingdom and he thought you’d die when you saw who you really were.”
“How come there are two people in it? Who’s that other person in the mirror?” Prince Tim asked.
“That’s me,” Jesus answered.
“I look just like you!” Prince Tim exclaimed.
“You should,” Jesus laughed, “You were made in my image.”
“So that’s what I – I mean we - look like?” Prince Tim asked with awe. “Pretty handsome, all things considered. And that’s what you look like – wow! But what’s with the white hair? Were you afraid of the monsters?”
“Not really. White hair’s what happens when someone ages and man, a person could sure grow old waiting for you to confront your monsters.”
In that moment Prince Tim got it.
Then he looked around. There were no monsters in sight.
“Where’d they all go?” Prince Tim asked. “I thought they were going to destroy me?”
“They were,” Jesus his servant replied, “and they would have if you hadn’t come out to meet them sooner or later. Good thing you let me tag along, too – frankly, between you and me, they never really had a chance.”
“So now I live happily ever after?” Prince Tim asked.
“You never know,” Jesus replied. “Hold on to that mirror and let’s stay in touch.”
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